In the ongoing battle against Coffee Zombie Disorder, I drink tea on some of the chilly mornings. Mom drank tea every morning when I was growing up and I confess that I like the taste...usually. The Company provides your standard Lipton tea bag in both regular and decaf to keep the worker bees placated. On occasion, generous members of the workforce will bring in their own varieties to share with their fellow coworkers and very appreciative we are of their benevolence.
This morning, feeling extremely bold for a Wednesday, I reached into the great unknown and committed myself to trying something new: Lapsang Souchong Tea by Twinings, a reliable source for all things tea and tea related. First let me introduce you to the Twining's description of the product, as found on the back of the tea bag and on their website:
"Lapsang Souchong tea comes from China's Fujian Province and Taiwan. The unique flavor of Lapsang Souchong is produced by lying the leaves out on bamboo trays and allowing smoke from pinewood to permeate through them. Twinings Lapsang Souchong is an adventurous tea with a unique smoke flavor and a dark rich color."
Now I've never been to Fujian Province, or Taiwan for that matter, but I have an inherent trust that both areas are capable of providing a fine tea product. So with tea prepared and work day about to accelerate to full blown insanity status, I take my first sip to find that....well....let's just say the description of the product is somewhat romanticized.
"unique flavor": Oh yea, unique, for sure but not in the way you are probably hoping.
"produced by lying the leaves out on bamboo trays": Bamboo trays must be a euphemism for "a dirt road."
"allowing smoke from pinewood": Chalking this one up to translation error. The Chinese words for "pinewood fire" and "burning trash" are very very similar. Don't believe me? Ask an expert! (No experts were available at time of publication. HA! Take that! I provided a disclaimer so now my unsubstantiated claim is FACT!)
So what if the tea is dried on a dirt road while the smoke from a pile of burning rubbish wafts over the leaves? This tea is adventurous! The kind of adventure you'd have finding out that your 4 star hotel turns out to be little more than an opium den/brothel that serves a free buffet of dishes that were formally regarded as pets.
I'm not trying to be anti-Chinese (either Republic of China or People's Republic of China), but what I am saying is that Twinings fell flat on their face with this one. I guess when something is free for the taking, there is probably a reason.
