MOE

Marginalization of Events (MOE)

MOE is primarily effected by reducing significant events to forgettable acronyms. From B in the D (Back in the Day) to WWII, we lessen our ability to communicate as a common humanity.

Ironbutt

1000 miles
24 hours
On a motorcycle

Who is crazy enough to do it?

Click for route

Comedy in its most pure form

I just landed at New York's Laguardia airport and entertainment on
this flight from Norfolk was provided not by US Airways dull as
cardboard flavored jelly beans but rather by the skymall catelog. Read
one! You will surely see what I mean. Or you might not understand. If
you can't see the humor, maybe you and I should no longer be hanging
out. Sorry!

I was home this weekend and, while there, was ordered by the matriarch of the house to dispose "by any means necessary" of the furry rodent who had so boldly dug a burrow in the middle of my mother's flower garden. Likeness of perpetrator shown below.

I consulted with an experienced hunter of such varmint and his first suggestion was "gasoline, lot's of it." Given that the burrow entrance was less than ten feet from the house, I figured it might be a wiser decision to start with something less destructive than highly flammable liquids.

We whistled up a hose and started pouring water into the hole, watching as gallon after gallon went in and...went somewhere. An investigation of the property did not reveal an exit hole, nor did our furry friend come bolting out the hole to save his hide from certain drowning death. Eventually the water was shut off and a round-the-clock vigilance was set up to protect the homestead and rid ourselves, once and for all, of this scourge.
Unfortunately, despite my best attempts at both advanced camouflaging (woodchucks HATE stripes) and acquiring a fierce hunting cat (Tubby the Fluffball), the hunt was unsuccessful.
Much to the collective relief of Clan Hardie (returning to Scotland next week: Reunion Tour!), Brother Adam was able to cleanly and efficiently eliminate the threat this morning. Heck, with enough ammunition, you can solve any problem!

Kick save and a beauty!

Last Wednesday, in the penultimate game of our summer hockey session, the Green Machine, the team I have played with for the past 4+ years, we found ourselves lacking one very important team member: our goalie. Frantic calls to other goalies in the league did not solve the issue. Fortunately, brother Adam volunteered his services.
Adam has never played goaltender in a hockey game. Adam has never played in a hockey game. Adam has never worn hockey pads. Adam last skated in High School. We. Were. Doomed. I was able to beg, borrow, barter, and steal (well...rent) enough equipment to keep virgin Adam safe between the pipes. The dressing process took quite a bit of time and by the time he was able to (shakily) make his way onto the ice we were left with a solid 1:35 of warm up time before the game started.

The first couple of minutes of the game were a bit on the rough side. The defense (including myself) hadn't quite gelled yet and the opposing team's offense came in fast and hard. Adam flopped early and within the first couple of minutes we were down a goal. Not Adam's fault, but he saw how the game was going to be and adjusted marvelously. At half time we were only down 2-1.
About half way through the second half of the game (we play two 25 minute halves), the other team's top forward broke free from his own blue line and started streaking towards Adam and his soon to be soiled borrowed (from me) hockey pants. I attempted to chase down the offensive assailant but arrived a bit behind the play. In a maneuver born of desperation I dove towards the guy and chopped out his legs from behind, sending both of us crashing into the boards. He did not get the shot off, the score remained 2-1, and I immediately headed for the penalty box for my sure to be called tripping penalty.
To the Green Machine's dismay, the referee decided my infraction was worthy of a penalty shot! Oof. Sorry Adam, no one to help you now, just you and their best player mano y mano. Even through the glass of the penalty box, I could hear the loud thumping of Adam's adrenaline fueled heartbeat. But, to the roaring approval of my bench, the guy taking the penalty shot was DENIED after trying to make a move around Adam and got a big piece of the pads. I was free of the box and play resumed with us down only a goal. The Green Machine played a smarter, harder, better game than most we had played that season and the end result was a 4-2 loss. Not bad for Adam's first time and the whole team walked away more proud of our team play and extraordinary circumstance than disappointed with the score on the board.
Hopefully Adam will come back to help the Green Machine out again sometime soon. In the mean time, we have a month off and then hopefully Zoe (our regular goalie) will return and we shall rise again to greatness.